Resilience Renewed: A Simple Choice

The personal theme for many of us in the collective this year has been between the intersection of gratitude, grief and drowning. No one has been immune to what has been felt globally and what we privately have been experiencing within the four walls of our home. I am not here to relive it; rather, I am here to remind us how we can grow from it and heal through it together. You are not alone and we are stronger together my friends. A few thoughts as we approach this holiday season: consider this a personal energy boost and reset for ourselves as we head into the month!! Here’s to resilience, here’s to hope and to kindness as we enter into a new week! I love you all - AR

Create Your Calm + Give Thanks

Being calm is a necessary ingredient for effective creativity. The world is filled with noise and this year has been loud. Let’s look at this as an opportunity and a silent invitation to go “inward” for a few quick mood-lifting journal prompts that will continue to shift your mindset from hopeless to hopeful!

I have to train my brain. Yep, I said it. It is a natural human response to look at all the things not working out for us, or dwelling on the negativity in our day. What we focus on expands and we have the ability to challenge new, powerful pathways in our mind (Google “neuroplasticity”). I do this personally with micro gratitude lists in the morning or at night. This will get YOU in the habit of looking at tough moments (or even the mundane) as opportunities for growth and insight, allowing us all to walk through fresh new doors.

Pick up a pencil and start small! (I do this in my notes app on my phone or even on the back of a mailer — toss out perfection and let's get to it.) Some examples of mine are below. These micro “Thank Yous” help me stay present throughout my day and get me in the habit of giving thanks.

1. Thank you heart, for pumping blood through my body and letting me feel - everything.

2. Thank you mind for the ability to think critically and develop creative solutions.

3. Thank you breath-work for creating a safe place for me to go to create stillness.

4. Thank you fear for letting me know the direction to go into for growth.

5. Thank you creativity for showing me my purpose and meaning.

6. Thank you pillow for supporting my neck and mind while I sleep. 

7. Thank you home for helping me feel grounded and safe right in this very moment.

8. Thank you for the cup of coffee warming my hands and energizing the day.

9. Thank you for the crisp autumn air filling and awakening my lungs 

10. Thank you clean water! I see light streaming through the steam in my shower and it inspires me daily.

11. Thank you Ben for helping with the laundry (miracles do come true).

12. Thank you for letting me be a child of this universe and connected to you.

To round out the year, I challenge us all to “take 5” and show up for ourselves, and the small priceless moments that afford you stillness and nourishment with this daily prompt. 

P.S. My “Love Over Fear” print makes the perfect companion for your journaling station.  ALL prints in my all-new AR Print Shop are 15% off with the code HOLIDAZE when you purchase now through December 25th.  

Giving back + Opening up

The secret to happiness is helping others. Women and children in this country get my support. In college, I was fortunate enough to partner with BBBS.org as a “Big Sister” and I have done the due diligence to where I know my financial support is going with the social impact organizations I am mentioning below. Access unfortunately is a “privilege” in this country and their are those in our nation who do not have fundamental access to basic human needs such as food, healthcare, education and mental health outlets. I suggest us all to examine the moments and stories that break our hearts and find ways we can give back. Let the pain of these stories connect us to purpose and service.

According to the USDA, over 18 million children will be facing hunger and or living in “food insecure” homes this year. Donations to reputable food banks on both local and federal level. I have personally found No Kid Hungry a wealth of information in understanding various programs and how each dollar helps.

The Loveland Therapy Fund provides national assistance to black women and young girls seeking therapy services. Education, access and care for those who have experienced any psychological distress or access to alternative therapies surrounding mental illness is vital for living a full life.

I encourage us all to educate ourselves around the racial disparities in medical care across the U.S as it also relates to the racial inequities in this country. Harvard.edu came out with an informative article “America is Failing its Black Mothers” and finally our policy makers are paying attention to the climbing maternal mortality rate among expectant mothers.

Here’s to resilience and restoration. Despite Native Americans accounting for nearly 2% (5.4 million) of the U.S. population, philanthropic funding for the population remains less than 0.5% percent of annual grant dollars. We need to do more.

If this list touches you, please feel free to add to it and share it with your friends….. #SharingIsCaring!

For the holidays, I am offering signed and personalized copies of THE NEW SOUTHERN STYLE that may be purchased through our local book store, Parnassus Books. They ship nationally and this is the perfect gift that will reconnect you to your creative power and cultivate the strength of community. This is a gift that keeps giving.

Subscribe for updates, announcements & book tour locations!

Alyssa’s debut Coffee Table book, The New Southern, Out now via Abrams!

Thrive Global | Alyssa Rosenheck’s Tips to Creating Wellness Stations at Home

Who has hit a wall? I think we all have to be honest. These are the times to dig deep and do the internal work. These are the moments to slow down and this is a simple reminder to pause. An indicator of hope is how one can maintain internal peace while transitioning through turbulent times. While we are within the four walls of our home, doing the best we can, I am inspired to share a sense of reprieve from the unknowns and offer a new way to attach meaning to our space. This is about being intentional and dedicating space to live in, to love in, to learn in and to grow in - highlighted in my new coffee table book out this fall, The New Southern Style - A Lifestyle and Design Book. By doing this, we are able to bolster the energy empowering us to show up; it begins within us and starts at home. Below, I am walking you through how we can incorporate wellness into our space to yield more peace, productivity and organization. 

Set up wellness stations at home. 

Working from home is not new for me. In order for us to maximize our output,  we have to re-imagine our everyday spaces and reassign meaning to create not just literal space, but also emotional and mental space for ourselves. Co-opt a few spots at home as “Wellness Stations” —  literal places in your home to find a sense of peace and calm. Here’s how your space can reflect a schedule for wellness: 

• Morning Wellness Station: The Shower.

  Water soothes most of my needs. It is a source of renewal and in our day-to-day lives, a reminder for stillness. I encourage waking up early to give yourself quiet time in the shower to start the day off with an intention. A few questions to get going are: How do I want to feel today? How am I going to show up for myself today and for the world around me?

• Afternoon Wellness Station: The Outdoors.

  Go for a walk. Take time over lunch to connect with the sun, the clouds and the wind. Even taking a moment to rest by a window can reveal simple splendors — natural light, the details of winter transforming to spring, birds singing. 

• Evening Wellness Station: Tub Time.

  Carving out time for a bath is a sacred way to take stock in the day. This stillness yields awareness of what was working during the day and where we need to pivot. Taking this time to recharge along with a mindful meditation is one step closer to a good night's rest and optimizes your effectiveness for a brand new day ahead. 

Create a schedule: Time Management vs Energy Management.

Over the years, I have had time to fine tune the levers of my schedule to accommodate two growing businesses, speaking engagements, managing a team, and writing my first book. I discovered the vital force behind our effectiveness is the quality of our energy. I am a firm believer in energy management over time management.  Working from my home studio is normal when I am not traveling for clients; however, due to the current #socialdistancing climate, we are all adjusting to new characters and new schedules adding complexity to a new normal. Husbands are at home, moms suddenly have kids 24/7, remote learning is taking place, and domestic responsibilities have increased (and are hopefully being shared!).

More than ever, it’s critical to manage our energy, to be innovative with a new schedule and to be forgiving with ourselves. It’s about a flexible approach. Develop a loose schedule that not only prioritizes family and work, but also provides for conscious media consumption with an equal amount of space to unplug. And finally – let yourself do something new! 

Do something new.

I recently did this by incorporating my husband, Ben, into my creative space on social media. He is a highly trained head and neck surgeon, and, after finding myself overwhelmed ciphering through the rapidly changing news everyday, I noticed I felt much calmer hearing it from his (scientifically-trained) perspective. So I decided to share that with my New Southern community, and now our nightly Q+As on Instagram Stories not only helps us to stay on top of news and share unbiased data with others, but also brings us and others together. 

Whatever it looks like for you and your household, now is the time to tap into creativity as a resource. Here are a few ideas to explore:

• Art Therapy.

  This can look like anything from picking up a paintbrush to simply picking some greenery on your afternoon walk to arrange in a vase. 

• Cook with intention and INTUITION.

  A tradition as old as time, cooking is a way to show love and nourish relationships around the table. 

• Create a dedicated reading space.

  Steal a throw or some pillows from somewhere else in your home and break out the good candles. Get cozy! 

• Create a dedicated meditation space.

  Carve out a corner that cues your body and mind to slow down when you’re in it – wherever it may be.  

• Start a book club.

  My friend Allison Moorer, an Academy and Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, is taking it virtual on Instagram daily, reading and highlighting passages out of noteworthy, soulful reads. She is curating accompanying playlists weekly as well. Take a note from Allison’s Instagram and start supporting artists and authors. A few books I recommend starting out with: Blood by Allison Moorer, Vibrate Higher Daily by Lalah Delia, You Are Enough by Panache Desai, Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens, or Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward.

Stay Sane + Sanitize | Alyssa's Virtual Survival Toolkit

How are we doing? Really? Let’s take a deep breath together. . .Inhale for the count of 6 and exhale for the count of 6.  Let’s do a quick body scan before we begin. What feels good in our body? What feels tense in our body? What are we doing to process our feelings?

I am sharing my virtual survival toolkit today to help us navigate our new normal. Below you will find - digital therapy resources, virtual museum tours, personal learning tools, and how I harness creativity during times like this. There are financial relief funds for artists and creatives along with trusted sites on how to continue to navigate social distancing and the corona virus. We are all in this together and I am sending love and health to you. Xx

Personal Growth 

To Be Magnetic 

Dive into the concept of manifestation through workshops, a podcast, and insights from founder Lacy Phillips to get clarity and, ultimately, get out of your own way. TBM is even offering a free resource kit designed specifically for these strange times. 

Digital Therapy Resources 

If you are wanting to dive deeper into traditional outlets for mental health while we are social distancing, you can still connect with a professional virtually. If you have health insurance, start there, as it may have a portal to connect you to in-network options. Alternatively, you can go straight to the source with platforms like Betterhelp and Talkspace. Furthermore, the American Psychological Association is a great place to start, with information on seeking out online therapy and dealing with the mental and emotional side effects of social distancing. 

Cultural Growth 

If you need to get out of the house. . .without actually leaving your abode, cultural institutions have harnessed digital tools to make their art, talents, and natural wonders available to all. Stoke your curiosity and ignite some inspiration with these: 

The Met Opera is sharing performances available for streaming nightly at 7:30 p.m EST. Check the full schedule here to see some of the art form’s greatest performers and performances from the last decade. 

Google Arts and Culture partnered with some of the top museums around the world to bring famous galleries to your living room. Get inspired with a quick virtual trip to The Met, or travel across the globe to the Musée d'Orsay in Paris. 

Google Arts and Culture didn’t stop there. If you need to get outside (beyond your cul-de-sac), they’ve made some of the nation’s most beloved national parks into a virtually explorable experience. Explore one of the darkest night skies in America or one of the South’s own tropical treasures. 

Creative Growth 

Let’s talk about harnessing creativity during hard times. This is more important than ever; creativity connects us (even when we can’t in-person!) and dials up the light in the world, something we could use more of right now. (And it’s what The New Southern community is all about!) 

The good news - we are all creative – it’s in our blueprint, it’s our birthright, and can be unlocked at any time. We have to learn however, to connect to our own creativity. To do so, we first have to show up every day, even when you’re not feeling inspired. Showing up for creativity is as easy as going for a walk, listening to music, or hopping in the shower or tub – anything that gets you outside of your own head and allows for a stream-of-consciousness to flow. Here are a few strategies: 

1. Get into your most relaxed state.

   When we are calm, we don't feel pressure, stress, or anxiety. This is when we are most receptive to our creativity and innovation. Whether I’m editing, writing, ideating, or whatever it is, I find it’s simply about getting out of my own way. So,  if I’m stressed, I may need to go for a walk, play with the dog, fold the clothes, read a chapter in a book, or just get outside. There are so many tricks for us to get out of our own head or our own way. Maybe it takes the form of meditation, yoga, gardening, listening to music by inspiring women (i.e., Lady Gaga!!), cooking, or painting. You don’t even have to be good at those things–it’s simply about showing up and slowing down. 

2. Be in receiving mode.

   Learn to welcome the little ideas that land on your shoulder and say, “Hey, you many want to pay attention to me!” Start a journal of dreams and ideas–including the worst, most boring and mundane ideas. Get in the practice of documenting everything, and you may start to see the light shine through the cracks.

3. Learn something new.

   Maybe it’s learning how to edit videos, immersing yourself in a new language, diving into philosophy, queueing up a new Masterclass (see below!), or simply picking up a fresh book. Whatever learning looks like to you, embrace it. It doesn’t have to be related to the medium or outlet your creativity typically takes–it just needs to get you engaged. 

Inspirational Growth 

Masterclass

Whether you want to learn more about photography or poker strategy, business leadership or basketball, space exploration or story telling, this is the place. It’s an upfront investment, but a robust resource for growth. You can even learn about conservation from Jane Goodall herself. 

TED and TEDx 

TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, and the slogan explains it all: “Ideas worth spreading”. Much like The New Southern, TED is all about connecting over creative ideas and forward progress. TEDx in particular hits home with my passion for community building, as it’s a grassroots effort to bring communities together through the sharing of ideas and experience. Explore TEDx talks from around the world here. 

Conscious Growth 

Lalah Delia 

The author of “Vibrate Higher Daily: Live Your Power”, Lalah Delia teaches others her hard-won lessons on rising above your circumstances, living intentionally, self-actualization and ultimately, how to “journey back home to their empowered, higher-potential, and whole selves.” Start with a podcast interview, a blog post, or read the book! 

Panache Desai 

Spiritual leader and author Panache Desai has created a package of tools specifically for this crisis to help readers cope, including a free, daily guided meditation. His mission, aside from bringing peace in challenging times, is to help others find and then live their purpose. Get a taste via his blog here, or dive in with his book, You Are Enough. 

The Goop Lab

Not one to shy away from curiosity, Gwyneth and her team volunteer as guinea pigs in this six-part Netflix series exploring the world of alternative healing. The show explores everything from medicinal mushrooms to mediumship, giving viewers an insider look at mystical topics and if anything, modeling the power of a curious spirit. 

SELECT RESOURCES

FINANCIAL AID – For freelancers and creatives 

FREELANCE CO-OP

Freelance Co-Op exists to connect freelancers with tools and resources for success. During uncertain and unprecedented times like these, that means an emergency relief fund that individuals can both contribute to and request temporary assistance from. Learn more here. 

ALLIANCE OF ARTIST COMMUNITIES

The Alliance is offering support for artists by connecting them with their network of residency programs around the country. They have also aggregated a collection of other programs artists can turn to for emergency relief and grants. See it here.  

CREATIVE CAPITAL

Creative Capital has created a list of resources for emergency relief funding and assistance for artists working in all disciplines, as well as arts philanthropists, and arts professionals. You can also add to it here. 

THE HAVEN FOUNDATION

Founded by Stephen King, this foundation offers financial assistance to U.S.-based freelancers in times of crisis. Learn more here. 

ARTIST RELIEF TREE

This Facebook Group by artists for artists is collecting donations from individuals with the means to help. Funds collected are used to support artists, particularly freelance artists, as “the arts help make life worth living, and help us lead more thoughtful, compassionate, enjoyable lives.” Donate, learn more, and request aid here. 

SCIENTIFIC 

• The CDC 

• WHO

• The Johns Hopkins Map 

• Why It's So Important to Stay Home

Major news outlets providing free PUBLIC access for COVID-19 coverage:

• NYTimes

• Washington Post 

• WSJ

• The Atlantic 

• Los Angeles Times 

Join the Movement. For more soul-sparking stories from The New Southern along with upcoming book tour dates and speaking engagements, sign up for my newsletter!

Thriving Through The Holidays | Alyssa Rosenheck's Tips to Reverse Engineer Seasonal Struggles

‘Tis the season for all things joyous: twinkling lights, snow-capped trees, steaming hot chocolate, family time by the fire and the sweet laughter of children frolicking through tinsel. But, PUMP the breaks! Let’s be real: it is also the season of heightened stress, social anxiety, blurred boundaries, over-drinking and all out exhaustion. So let’s reverse engineer the holidays. By shining a light on the shadows, head on, we can map out a path through the hardest parts of the season together, and with kindness and love in mind for ourselves and others. You know my approach — have a plan and work the plan. First up: naming our shadows. 

If you are dealing with. . .

if you are dealing with Difficult Boundaries:

Heading home for the holidays can mean run-ins with an overbearing aunt, a racist in-law or the old hometown bully, which can stir up unwanted triggers.

My Tip:

First, try to create holiday traditions with those who fill your emotional cup! Visualize what this looks like for you. Second, when we have uncomfortable holiday run ins, boundaries and self-care are essential. Recognize: Hurt people hurt others. Anybody who acts out by defying boundaries needs love the most. This does not mean you have to put yourself in the line of fire; emotional boundaries are essential. 

When you may be in environments that remind you of a triggering past, do an emotional body scan and check in: How do I feel? Am I nervous because I haven’t seen them in 10 years? Or am I nervous because they’re hurtful? Does this give me energy? Does this drain me? Removing yourself from the line of fire is an act towards self-care.

I have loved the evolution of self-help and self-love resources transitioning from books and offices to blogs and Instagram- while it’s no replacement for professional treatment, a small, kind reminder when you open your phone can can be just the nudge you need some days. Some of my personal favorites are:

• Dr. Nicole LePera | @The.Holistic.psychologist 

• Amanda E. White | @therapyforwomen 

• Vienna Pharaon | @mindfulmft

• Lalah Delia | @Lalahdelia 

• ALEXANDRA ELL | @ALEX_ELLE

• YUNG PUEBLO | @YUNG_PUEBLO

• ASHLEY NEESE | @ASHLEY_NEESE

if you are dealing with Drinking as a Distraction:

Moderation in all things is how I like to guide this principle. This time of year we have an influx of holiday parties, gatherings and dinner obligations. The downside to drinking consistently comes with dehydration, mental fog, poor skin, and all around fatigue mixed with already packed schedules. I am a two drink maximum kind of gal and I limit my intake once every few weeks for many reasons with the top priority being able to wake up the next morning having a clear and creative mind.

My Tip 

Whatever the reason, it is valid to take a step back at this time of year with consumption. One of my favorite hydrating and healthy alternatives is hot water with lemon, which any bar will have. Another reliable classic is soda with a splash of citrus. Or mix it up with whatever is on hand — tonic with a candy cane, club soda with pomegranate juice and fresh mint, sparkling water and bitters. You may find a new favorite that doesn’t leave you with an emotional and physical hangover. 

IF YOU ARE DEALING WITH OVERSPENDING:

Instead of wanting for more, let's flip the switch and let abundance come from what you have in your life. Now is a great time of year to go through your closet, donate to women’s shelters and other organizations close to your heart and really take stock of what you can share, whatever that looks like to you.  

My Tip

This year, Ben and I are taking a new approach. Between gifted items generously sent to me and events that have prompted me to expand my wardrobe, the amount of material items in my home and life have quantitatively increased. And, while I am beyond grateful for the experiences, I am feeling a little weighed down by consumption right now. So we are doing a gift-free Christmas and opting to volunteer instead. For families with children, volunteering is the perfect opportunity to get them involved from the start, to spend quality time together, to ground yourself and to remind yourself just how much you have. 

• MOTHER TO MOTHER - clothing donations

• VOLUNTEER MATCH - EASY WAY TO CONNECT PEOPLE TO CAUSES

IF YOU ARE DEALING WITH Emotional Eating: 

Two things abound during the holidays: stress and indulgences. It’s easy to get caught up in emotional eating, only to feel worse when it’s all said and done. Whether it stems from loneliness, boredom, packed schedules, anxiety, or insecurity, take the cue and remind yourself to check in on your well-being. 

My Tip

To get through the moment, start at the root. Do a whole-body scan. Check in, be present. Ask yourself: Why am I eating? Am I hungry? If you’re not, then go deeper: Why am I comforting myself? What is it I need to work through? Use this opportunity to flag latent anxieties, traumas and stressors you can tackle when the time is right. 

To get through the event, day, or season, have a plan and work the plan. I never go to big events hungry. If it’s a big holiday party, I’ll go half-full and eat something healthy before. That way, if I just have dessert there, that’s fine. Healthy snacks I like to keep on hand are: raw almonds, apples with almond butter, popcorn, pre-made proteins aka grilled chicken in the fridge, RX bars, and sunflower seeds keep me energized while I am on the go.

if you are dealing with Social Anxiety:

If you get anxious looking at a packed calendar of events, you are not alone. I still get nervous in a large room of people. But I find it helps to make it about connecting, not performing or impressing. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to hide our flaws and have picture-perfect experiences that we forget what the gathering was all about in the first place — connecting, being present, and love. 

My Tip

Focus on finding a loving connection; it’s easier than you think. (Remember, the easiest conversation starter is simply getting people to talk about themselves!) A simple question can spark a rich, heartfelt conversation. Prepare by thinking of a few subjects important to you, and ask people around you about them. If you make your goal to be 100% authentic to yourself, it takes the pressure off performing and neutralizes social anxiety. You can leave at the end of the night knowing you met your goal by simply being yourself. 

CONVERSATION STARTERS:

• What did joy look like for you in 2019?

• what was your greatest lesson learned in 2019?

• happy new year!! what are you most looking forward in 2020?

• what do you want more of or less in 2020?

• and the staple, where are you from? this is the start to a great life story!

if you are dealing with Stress + Exhaustion:

A side effect of many of the previously mentioned struggles, stress and exhaustion seem to get everyone eventually, whether it’s due to overindulging, packed schedules, emotional battles, or everything all at once. The antidote to stress and exhaustion is stillness. This is self care’s time to shine. 

My Tip

These are my go-to principles, day after day, holiday season or not. By engineering small moments into your day to pause, reflect and restore, you can mitigate stress from the start. Start your morning with an intention along with how you are showing up for yourself. In the afternoon, pause for breathwork and manage your energy vs. time. Even if you only have time for three deep breaths. Evaluate: what’s energizing you? What’s depleting you? How can you manage your energy to expand what’s fueling you? Then, in the evening, restore with water. Use a shower or bath as an opportunity for quiet and stillness to take stock of the day. 

if you are dealing with Loneliness:

Holiday loneliness is not a new concept, but in the era of the internet, it is particularly acute. Social media and the internet get a bad reputation. What is your current mood with social media? We are the one’s controlling the output and scroll which can either be inspiring or the cesspool humanity! It is up to us and what we make of the platforms we are using.

My Tip

If you’re finding social media exacerbating loneliness, it’s time to change how we engage. For example, statics show voyeurism while scrolling can be linked with negative social consequences. I like to use social media in a conscious way and encourage others to meaningfully engage with the accounts they follow and support. Reach out and interact in a kind, loving way. Join Facebook groups and events for your interests, try classpass, find a Meetup group near you.  You’ll be surprised and how support garners support. Second, unfollow anything that prompts you to compare or judge or think negatively about yourself or others. Be intentional about what you consume visually and what you engage with.  

The New Southern is a reminder that creativity, our shared interests, even our differences are all opportunities to meaningfully connect. By engaging our curiosity and creativity, we can find connection and inspire others to do the same.