Time machines are real. They come in the form of simple little words strung together that can remove us from our current reality and transport us back to the past in a matter of seconds. It can be a song that takes us back to a loved one or unexpected words that trigger a shadow from the past. These are memories that are stored on a cellular level keeping a running tally. My last time traveling experience was in March when I received an unexpected text that appeared on the front of my phone with an audible ding, “I’m going to ruin you” it read.
I could hear my heartbeat making its way from my chest to my throat as I emotionally was shutting down. I was sitting in my office working quietly to the white noise of the ac running in the background. Five little words took me from a strong 40 year old woman back to a 16 year old girl studying for finals, witnessing knife fights and physical violence in a matter of seconds.
See, I knew the day would come when my estranged father would get his hands on my first book. I feared this day because I knew my light would reveal his shadows. It enraged him. March 13, 2022 happened to be this day. Truth does not free a narcissist - It cages them to their anger and lack of accountability. The pages of my book are gentle and honest. Rather, then congratulating me he used his words as weapons for three consecutive days. I recorded his behavior, returned to my physical body with healing exercises I learned through therapy and initiated a relationship with the Tulsa County Sheriff's department should this continue.
As my father was weaponizing threatening words in my inbox, I was reclaiming the hardwood floor and feeling mother earth firmly planted underneath me. As a child, the chaos silenced so much of my voice but as an adult, it is one of my most important tools to build strong bridges, deep connections and communicate boundaries. My gentle roar as an adult is a form of self love and I responded to my father with this: You can not ruin what you did not build. I do not receive your threats and I encourage you to get help.
This may be an unpopular father’s day post, but let this truth part the visual sea down the middle of social media family perfection. Let this story be a resource and a reminder to return to your truth, reclaim your center and own your voice. No one can take away the groundwork of healing you have built and continue to build for yourself. My sacred pillars are a daily practice of creativity, wellness, mental health, peace and appreciation. Those who did not help you build your foundation can not take away the life you have created for yourself. Love on those who continue to support you through the light and the shadows. We all have them and that’s what makes us valuable resources for one another. Xx
You can use this technique anytime you are experiencing strong emotions that are distracting you from your present moment. As creatives, it is important for us to be tethered to the present and connected to the moment. This is how we hear our gifts and find inspiration. We are unable to do this if our strong emotions or external circumstances are keeping us locked in the past. I love this grounding exercise because it can be done anywhere: I use it when I am on a nature walk to fully appreciate my surroundings, I use this before I am about to speak on stage and I use this when I am maintaining a center through strong emotions. I hope this is a resourceful tool for you.
ONE: Place your feet firmly on the ground. Feel the floor and the earth supporting you.
TWO: Repeat: My physical body is supported by the strength of Mother Earth.
THREE: Acknowledge what time and day it is.
FOUR: Using your senses: Identify your surroundings - What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell?
FIVE: Place your right hand over your heart and your left hand over your tummy and breathe deeply in for 5 seconds and exhale for 5 seconds. Repeat this.
SIX: Focus on your breathwork and affirm in your mind that you are safe, you are cherished and that you are loved.
