Healing Truths | A Gentle Roar

Time machines are real. They come in the form of simple little words strung together that can remove us from our current reality and transport us back to the past in a matter of seconds. It can be a song that takes us back to a loved one or unexpected words that trigger a shadow from the past. These are memories that are stored on a cellular level keeping a running tally. My last time traveling experience was in March when I received an unexpected text that appeared on the front of my phone with an audible ding, “I’m going to ruin you” it read.

I could hear my heartbeat making its way from my chest to my throat as I emotionally was shutting down. I was sitting in my office working quietly to the white noise of the ac running in the background. Five little words took me from a strong 40 year old woman back to a 16 year old girl studying for finals, witnessing knife fights and physical violence in a matter of seconds.

See, I knew the day would come when my estranged father would get his hands on my first book. I feared this day because I knew my light would reveal his shadows. It enraged him. March 13, 2022 happened to be this day. Truth does not free a narcissist - It cages them to their anger and lack of accountability. The pages of my book are gentle and honest. Rather, then congratulating me he used his words as weapons for three consecutive days. I recorded his behavior, returned to my physical body with healing exercises I learned through therapy and initiated a relationship with the Tulsa County Sheriff's department should this continue. 

As my father was weaponizing threatening words in my inbox, I was reclaiming the hardwood floor and feeling mother earth firmly planted underneath me. As a child, the chaos silenced so much of my voice but as an adult, it is one of my most important tools to build strong bridges, deep connections and communicate boundaries. My gentle roar as an adult is a form of self love and I responded to my father with this: You can not ruin what you did not build. I do not receive your threats and I encourage you to get help.

This may be an unpopular father’s day post, but let this truth part the visual sea down the middle of social media family perfection. Let this story be a resource and a reminder to return to your truth, reclaim your center and own your voice. No one can take away the groundwork of healing you have built and continue to build for yourself. My sacred pillars are a daily practice of creativity, wellness, mental health, peace and appreciation. Those who did not help you build your foundation can not take away the life you have created for yourself. Love on those who continue to support you through the light and the shadows. We all have them and that’s what makes us valuable resources for one another. Xx

You can use this technique anytime you are experiencing strong emotions that are distracting you from your present moment. As creatives, it is important for us to be tethered to the present and connected to the moment. This is how we hear our gifts and find inspiration. We are unable to do this if our strong emotions or external circumstances are keeping us locked in the past. I love this grounding exercise because it can be done anywhere: I use it when I am on a nature walk to fully appreciate my surroundings, I use this before I am about to speak on stage and I use this when I am maintaining a center through strong emotions. I hope this is a resourceful tool for you.

ONE: Place your feet firmly on the ground. Feel the floor and the earth supporting you. 

TWO: Repeat: My physical body is supported by the strength of Mother Earth. 

THREE: Acknowledge what time and day it is.

FOUR: Using your senses: Identify your surroundings - What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell?

FIVE:  Place your right hand over your heart and your left hand over your tummy and breathe deeply in for 5 seconds and exhale for 5 seconds. Repeat this.

SIX: Focus on your breathwork and affirm in your mind that you are safe, you are cherished and that you are loved.

Creative Postpartum® By Alyssa Rosenheck

Last year, I coined a phrase: “Creative Postpartum”. What is it? This is a period beginning immediately after a dream achieved, a goal reached that required a significant amount of time, sacrifice and care. The result of crossing the finish line is a lengthy period of sadness as a result of the loss of a process or external challenges. I want to preface this by saying, postpartum depression is very real and requires the assistance of a mental health care provider. I encourage anyone who is experiencing depression to consult with a mental health care provider for necessary support. Below, I invite you on my journey and discovery of Creative postpartum where I encourage us all to look at this as an opportunity for a rebirth.

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To travel is to move through fear, and like any journey, is filled with bumps along the way. For me, creativity is a form of prayer and a daily practice - it is our birthright, a return home, and an energy that runs through my body from the moment I wake up. Creative work is soul work - it connects us to ourselves and tells us the truth about the world, a place that oftentimes throughout the course of our collective and most recent history, has seemed unrecognizable. Yet, no matter how quiet, how dormant, how hidden, there’s creativity in every single one of us. Creativity is a pulsing current at all times - it invites a connection to community, sheds light on our hidden parts and it seeks to be a companion to our courage and healing.

So, what happens when we are on the other side of the creative process, a major project completed, the finish line crossed, the cathartic reveal or something we have dreamt of doing for as long as we can remember? This is the part of creativity no one discusses and I want to illuminate the concept of Creative Postpartum®. This is in fact the darker side of creativity and as someone who observes light for a living and the way it moves from space to space- we can't have one without the other. It’s the shadows that give light interest and it is this stage of the creative process that yields our next steps as innovators and truth tellers.

I wrote and photographed my first book and releasing this project into the world was much like birthing a child. It was an invested process. It took nine months to develop the proposal. My publisher is the equivalent to the hospital, with teams in place offering support and a smooth delivery. My literary agent, editor and attorney were my midwives. I labored over each word printed and image captured, ultimately bringing the pages to life. It brought about early mornings and many sleepless nights leading up to the delivery, a crisp autumn Tuesday during lock down. It was an emotional day filled with relief, congratulations, community support, and the start of an energetic virtual press junket. Labor is never without pain. It took three years to bring this book to life, and it was published in the middle of a global pandemic – a period rife with lives lost, jobs disappearing, political extremes, civic unrest, cities burning, extreme racial tensions and authors who look like me not getting much support. Logistically, the pandemic brought shipping delays, printers shutting down, distribution issues, while all trying to convey a humanizing bridge building message in the midst of relentless algorithms and agendas.

And yet, despite all of this, I crossed the “finish line” with a story meant to be told for this specific time in history.

I did not expect what happened next. I was restless, I was angry, I was depressed and I felt lost. I thought something was wrong with me, I was becoming one with our couch, and I emotionally shut down - closed for business.

At the time, I wasn’t sure what I was experiencing. It took reaching the other side of it– several months later–to understand. And now, in hopes of sparking more conversation around this experience that’s relevant to the laboring of any creative finale, I am sharing it with you now. 

The process of writing and photographing my book had become my identity and I was attached. I was deeply invested in the creative process which is where the magic was for me. For three years, I woke up with a sense of meaning and deep purpose that fueled this project. The New Southern Style had wings. To see a project take on a life of its own is an extraordinary gift. So I found myself at an unfamiliar crossroad of gratitude and creative grief. No one talks about this side of creativity – the shadow on the other side of a dream achieved. The restlessness and sadness that comes next. 

This was my first time to experience such a creative crisis, and I realized through this experience that it’s okay, healthy in fact. 

Severals months of searching, releasing and surrendering later, I am able to recognize there is no end point to our creativity - it is a cycle filled with showing up, producing, releasing and repeating this flow. The longing I was experiencing was the loss of the “process” and not wanting to “release” – which was the attachment behind my pain. Having awareness around our creative process and honoring each stage (even the creative postpartum) yields the nourishment and fullness we seek in this lifetime. Creativity is a voice for our own understanding and a companion to our healing. The external opportunities that result from our craft is just the icing on the cake but the birthing and the releasing are what dreams are made of. 

Recovering from a creative crisis (or any block) requires a recommitment to ourself (and our alignment). This involves the courage to grow beyond our fear so we can embark on new beginnings. Creativity is not linear and when we use our creativity as a companion to our healing, it is a powerful agent of change. Below, I am sharing with you my creative process that has helped me fight through cancer, start movements, write books, be an innovator and show up in a way that nourishes and connects me to something larger than myself. If I can do this, so can you.

 Recommitting to Creativity

1. Creative stillness

Our stillness speaks to us if we let it. This is an invitation to go inward. In the most literal way, pause and rest. Carve out at least 20 minutes of silence each day in order to create stillness and recognize our internal dialogue. This is a great time to cultivate a meditation practice. Fear, limiting beliefs and insecurities may pop up - if they do, simply be the observer of these thoughts and let them pass on by like water moving around a rock in a river. You are the rock. If you are feeling uninspired, use this as a sign to rest. Our stillness has the power to speak to us and we have to silence the external world in order to hear our inner compass.

2. Creative Curiousity

What is your life trying to tell you? If the answer doesn’t immediately come to you - that is okay. It will come to you during a creative process. This is a nourishing time to explore with a fresh set of eyes while embarking on an artistic adventure. Try a new skill or a new activity and commit to the process - this is more about maintaining the endurance to show up and a willingness to fail. A few simple ideas worth exploring are morning pages, photography, cooking, water color painting, yoga, nature walks, antiquing, learning a new language, reading a new book, writing letters to your future self or inner child. This activity removes us from the day to day and reminds us of our childlike wonder and to come from a place of abundance. Our creative curiosity is an opportunity to start “seeing” the world through our heart consistently.

3. Creative Courage

What is creative courage? I have taken eight years to live and define this for myself and I am finally sharing it with you. My definition of Creative Courage is clearly believing in a vision greater than ourselves that is not reminiscent of our current set of circumstances. - This is my antidote to fear and this is my solution to rejection. Fear illuminates the direction we need to walk in and having deep clarity around our vision is what helps us create change. Staying focused and showing up are fundamental. I suggest we stop pouring our love into the things that are not loving us back and start asking ourselves the important questions to keep us on track: Where in your life are you playing small and how can you change this? Do you believe in a vision greater than your current set of circumstances? Are you embodying the most powerful version of yourself? What do you want to feel today and how can your actions support this? Gain clarity around your courage and follow it up with action - each day.  

4. Creative Care

Creative Care is what nourishes a project through completion. This is where we are gentle with ourselves. We sit in our feminine energy. We receive our gifts. We manage our energy over our time. We follow what lights us up and release the people, places and things that are draining us. And we connect our gifts and our resources to our communities where creative care becomes community care. Creative care is a daily practice and a strong companion to our healing and seeing a project or goal through completion.

5. Creative Postpartum®

This is a period beginning immediately after a dream is achieved or a goal reached that required a significant amount of time, sacrifice and care. The result of crossing the finish line is a period of sadness or feelings of loss. I want to normalize this process for us. Our words are powerful and when we are able to identify the shadows and frustrations surrounding creativity, we are able to move through them with emotional awareness. We have to feel our grief in order to move through it. This takes time and the amount of time is independent to your journey. Be gentle with yourself, take stock in your accomplishment and with all endings - there are new beginnings. Eventually, you will be met with the courage to start something new fueled by a tremendous amount a growth for your rebirth.

Creativity is not a straight line with a beginning and an end. It’s a continuous cycle, one which you must travel through each and every stage of in order to come out stronger. Honor the crisis and make it a tool for the next creative beginning. Surrender again and again to the process. Only then your creativity will show you the way. I also want to share my deep appreciation for Good Grit Magazine for featuring “Creative Postpartum” in their Fall 2021 Human Resilience Issue. Thank you from the bottom of my creative heart. - AR